Holy magics and I do not always go well together. Even our cleric - he wouldn't intend on it, but sometimes he'd accidentally make me start walking in the other direction.
Us too. Faerun's got a bunch running around - Shadowheart's one, obviously. But half the people I've talked to here don't even know what a tiefling is.
Oh. I know what a tiefling is. They aren't uncommon, either.
[so there's that.]
Actually, people keep assuming I'm human, which I thought was very strange. Funnily enough, I am, or was, but most wouldn't guess it, given - [she gestures to her ears, which look a lot like elf ears in their jewelry cuffs]
What, really? But. [she's about to gesture at laudna's ears, but then laudna does it so she gives up on the gesture and puts her hands on her hips instead.]
I figured you knew, you're one of the only ones who didn't stare at me like I'd grown an extra head. [...] You're not an elf?
[well, she's karlach's favorite, so she'll tell her a little secret.]
You see, I'm human, but the ones who killed me were trying to send a message to someone else, and she was an elf. So they needed a corpse that could pass for elf and made a few little alterations.
[she's not sure how she's supposed to react to all of this sympathy directed at her. it makes her uncomfortable; she tries not to think about these things if she can.]
It's a long time in the past. I hardly remember things from back then. It's like another person.
[except she clearly thinks it matters, and laudna would prefer that none of it does.]
It's really all right. All of that was settled a very long time ago. The guilty parties punished, the heroes triumphant. I even met her - the elf woman. She was very nice.
[she makes an attempt to shake off the sadness - she can't let her own bias get in the way, here. even if it does hurt to think about someone else's life getting cut short because some power hungry charmer decided you were good enough to serve up on a platter.
big sigh.]
Glad to hear that. I like the stories where the heroes are truly good people in the end.
[it's not really different at all, she's just in a different place about it emotionally.]
Hmm. Yes. That's so nice, isn't it? And they all got a happy ending and live in a castle and have scores of adorable little children. It's a wonderful story.
[her smile is extremely obviously not a happy one.]
They're rather charming people. When my friends and I needed one, they provided a cleric and paid the costs for the service. There is not much more one can ask. [but she just resents them anyway.]
Because they don't want to be bothered by all of that, anyway. They'll just look at me sadly and try to appease their guilt, but they won't go a step farther than that. So I won't bother to ask them.
I agree. And for a long time, that's what I intended to do. But I'm not sure that's what I'm after any longer. There are other people whose endings I do want to assure.
I thought so for a little while, too. I wanted it. But I've chosen a direction for myself that I think has a different outcome. The world is dangerous and I want the ones I care for to be safe, even if it makes it less likely that I continue on after.
I've had less time than many get, but more time than I was ever meant to. I can't be dissatisfied by that.
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[she's a little uncertain, though.]
Holy magics and I do not always go well together. Even our cleric - he wouldn't intend on it, but sometimes he'd accidentally make me start walking in the other direction.
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[sweats.]
Wait, you've got clerics too? That's rare in these parts, I've noticed.
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They aren't so rare for us. Those chosen by the gods and granted magic.
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Us too. Faerun's got a bunch running around - Shadowheart's one, obviously. But half the people I've talked to here don't even know what a tiefling is.
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[so there's that.]
Actually, people keep assuming I'm human, which I thought was very strange. Funnily enough, I am, or was, but most wouldn't guess it, given - [she gestures to her ears, which look a lot like elf ears in their jewelry cuffs]
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I figured you knew, you're one of the only ones who didn't stare at me like I'd grown an extra head. [...] You're not an elf?
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[well, she's karlach's favorite, so she'll tell her a little secret.]
You see, I'm human, but the ones who killed me were trying to send a message to someone else, and she was an elf. So they needed a corpse that could pass for elf and made a few little alterations.
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well, karlach doesn't know what to say to that other than:]
... Laudna, that's so fucked up. [like in the way that she thinks that's really sad!!!]
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[so it's fine?]
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[she's going to crawl into exandria and put the briarwoods in a woodchipper]
... Gods, I'm sorry.
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It's a long time in the past. I hardly remember things from back then. It's like another person.
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A whole other life. [she says, finally.] I get it, I guess. Still.
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[except she clearly thinks it matters, and laudna would prefer that none of it does.]
It's really all right. All of that was settled a very long time ago. The guilty parties punished, the heroes triumphant. I even met her - the elf woman. She was very nice.
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big sigh.]
Glad to hear that. I like the stories where the heroes are truly good people in the end.
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Hmm. Yes. That's so nice, isn't it? And they all got a happy ending and live in a castle and have scores of adorable little children. It's a wonderful story.
[her smile is extremely obviously not a happy one.]
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What about you? Do you think you're going to get one?
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No. But that really has nothing to do with them.
[...]
They're rather charming people. When my friends and I needed one, they provided a cleric and paid the costs for the service. There is not much more one can ask. [but she just resents them anyway.]
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Why not? [to like, all of that. why not a happy ending, why not ask for more]
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[she says a little less sweetly.]
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Well, fuck them, then. You don't need to rely on them for a happy ending. You can take one.
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[she frowns, looking down.]
I agree. And for a long time, that's what I intended to do. But I'm not sure that's what I'm after any longer. There are other people whose endings I do want to assure.
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But it could. I think you should have hope that it could.
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[but there's no bark in it. she sighs.]
I thought so for a little while, too. I wanted it. But I've chosen a direction for myself that I think has a different outcome. The world is dangerous and I want the ones I care for to be safe, even if it makes it less likely that I continue on after.
I've had less time than many get, but more time than I was ever meant to. I can't be dissatisfied by that.
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