[brainworms, huh. that sounds like a silly offhand comment. anyway, she thinks.]
Untethering myself from a bad influence also meant untethering myself from... power, yes, but more than that. I always knew if I became angry or desperate, I'd bring it back. I couldn't live with avoiding it. Easier to adapt.
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I don't think so. Maybe it's hard getting out of the consequences of my choices, though. [a little grin.]
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[so she let it back in.]
What consequences?
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[...] What d'you mean, still needed all of it?
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Untethering myself from a bad influence also meant untethering myself from... power, yes, but more than that. I always knew if I became angry or desperate, I'd bring it back. I couldn't live with avoiding it. Easier to adapt.
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Guess I don't exactly need to tell you this, but - make a deal with the devil and you're going to get burned, no matter which way you turn.
[she doesn't think the devil has to be literal - it can be power, it can be anything.]
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[she knows that's true.]
But you can be an innocent bystander and be burned just the same, and with much less to show for it.
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... I wish it wasn't like that. [but she's not blindly optimistic. it's just a nice thought.]
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