Named after the shepherdess in Virgil's pastoral Eclogues. The Greek word amarysso means "to sparkle." In Victorian times, an "amaryllis" was a strong, confident, and beautiful woman.
[you know, i wish i could say she has a better response but both times in two separate games where she remembers her mom her response is to start crying, and this time isn't any different? it's almost subconscious the way she calls out for her mom in-stereo with the memory itself, immersed in the trial all over again, and when karlach moves there's a startled sound that kind of settles into a sob she's tripping over.
having another person witness this is new. usually, when aerith has these moments where she's forced to walk through the trauma, she's reminded of the fact she's alone through it all. it's why karlach hugs her and she doesn't hug back, more surprised than anything even if she doesn't pull away.]
[luckily (?) aerith went through this trial extremely recently, so it's not a direct punch to the face like it was before. it's still something that deeply unsettles her, reminds her that she'd failed and that she was all alone in several ways. it reminds her of the promised adventure they'd never get to have, of the things she never got to learn from her mother, and of all of the ways she herself isn't normal.
but here, at least, she settles enough to loosely return the hug as she pulls herself back together, mind swimming a little to think of what to say.]
...we were supposed to start a new life together. She could get better, and the experiments could stop. But I...she must have been too weak even by the time we escaped.
[the sentiments are nice to hear, admittedly, even if she shakes her head half-heartedly.]
Everyone in the slums is just trying to survive. [it's not an excuse, but an explanation.] My mom took me back to her house in sector 5 after that. It was a little better there. [it should be a little clear that she does not mean her dead mother, but she doesn't seem to think twice about calling elmyra her mom, too.]
[it's not an excuse, but karlach's shaking her head as is.]
Still. You can still stop to take care of a kid. [stubbornly. but.] I'm glad someone took care of you. She seems like a good person - the woman at the end there, yeah?
[she won't argue with that. things are pretty bad in the slums but aerith herself still tries to take care of people. maybe that's why she's so insistent to make sure people aren't ignored.]
Yeah, that's her. She...was at the station waiting for her husband to come home. He was in the military. So she would go every day to wait, but that day she took care of me. [...] I didn't get to see her again before we left Midgar. Hopefully she won't be too mad.
[this memory is happening, and as she watches it play out she leans into karlach just a little more because it's always a little sad to face the fact that the people you love are gone. no matter how many years it's been or how okay you are with the fact now. as the memory itself fades, she tilts her head back to look at her quietly.]
...I think your mom was right, you know? There's only change. Even if they're gone...and even when it hurts to think about them being gone, in a way they're still with us. We can still remember them and talk to them and care about them. Like people who've just gone far away. We want to do our best so we have so many good things to share with them when we meet again.
[yeah that's like weirdly calming for her, so she's comfy here. and she thinks it's important to talk about what she saw because...karlach understands that kind of loss. she's grown from it, but that doesn't make it easy still.]
It's what I believe, yes. [...] For us, when people die, they usually return to the planet's lifestream where they're born from. And with it they bring their knowledge...their feelings, and their memories. I think returning to where they came is what allows us all to meet again, and then be reborn.
Exactly. Even more reasons we remember the people we lost here, too. They aren't gone as long as we have memories of them and think of them. [because to her, even those precious little things will all go back into the same pool and create a stronger vision of who those people were. she doesn't mind that karlach's head is on hers, and they should not be in the middle of the road but cars aren't real so who cares.]
We will. You will. [because even if karlach's planet is different...principle applies, she thinks.] Until then...it's nice you get to visit them. Must've been a little while since you got to. I think they'd be happy knowing you've surrounded yourself with other people, too.
[the way this was open on my laptop and i forgot to finish help. anyway...bad. bad, bad, bad.]
Doubt they'd hold that against you either, you're right. Even if ten years is a long time for both of you. [to not see them, and for karlach to not be able to leave at all.] But...now it's a little like having the best of both worlds, isn't it? Being able to introduce them to each other and share the things you love about each of them.
They would've loved Wyll best, I think. Perfect gentleman.
[a sigh. she kind of trails off there, not sure what else to say, her tail flicking back and forth. there's a little dip in her mood, for as cheerful as she usual is.]
[off they go! i don't know if i mentioned it in this thread and i'm too lazy to look but her fingers are all back. she's healed! yay.]
Oh, yeah. Sure. [she says, following along.] Uh - Wyll, he's - funny story, he's a demon hunter. He thought I was one, but I convinced him I wasn't. He got himself into a lot of trouble because of it.
There's Shadowheart. And Lae'zel, and Halsin. Minthara, too, but she's less a friend and more someone that's with us.
A demon hunter. [said in the way of "oh okay", like she wasn't expecting that.] Sounds like a dangerous occupation to begin with. But that's...a lot of you. Eight, right? Just like us. People who just happened to cross paths with their own goals that then later became shared ones. You never really know who your close friends will be.
You really never know, you're right. We met because of some fucked up situation, honestly, and I never would've run into the rest of them if that hadn't happened.
Never would have made it out of the Hells at all, honestly.
Most people don't believe in destiny, or they don't want to acknowledge it. And...the future can be changed, but I do think there are some things that are always meant to happen. Even if they don't happen when or how you thought. Sounds a little like that. One thing that led to another.
[i'm coming to find i hate bg3 because everyone is so fucking ruined all the time WHY.
anyway, they were working before aerith was clocked in the face with a second memory, and she falters in her steps for a moment as she registers everything karlach says. she knew, of course. she knew the heart karlach has now isn't the same as an organic one, but to know you may die soon...to not feel that justice has been served. to have a goal in mind, and the horrifying realization that that goal isn't enough. the agony of thinking your time's coming soon, and you'll be pulled back into the desperate loneliness you've tried so hard to crawl out of, being torn from the people you love.
it's hard. she doesn't agree with lashing out when she can help it, more of a pacifist herself, but it's something she can understand. she can only imagine how hard this is.]
...I'm sorry. [she's not sure if she's apologizing for saying something stupid to trigger this, or for seeing it at all, or for what karlach's going through. maybe all of the above.]
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having another person witness this is new. usually, when aerith has these moments where she's forced to walk through the trauma, she's reminded of the fact she's alone through it all. it's why karlach hugs her and she doesn't hug back, more surprised than anything even if she doesn't pull away.]
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Gods, that's... Aerith. [she mumbles, voice a little thick.] I'm sorry. I had no idea it was that bad.
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but here, at least, she settles enough to loosely return the hug as she pulls herself back together, mind swimming a little to think of what to say.]
...we were supposed to start a new life together. She could get better, and the experiments could stop. But I...she must have been too weak even by the time we escaped.
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That's not your fault. Hope you know that. [...] All those people just - ignoring you. It's fucked up. You were just a kid.
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Everyone in the slums is just trying to survive. [it's not an excuse, but an explanation.] My mom took me back to her house in sector 5 after that. It was a little better there. [it should be a little clear that she does not mean her dead mother, but she doesn't seem to think twice about calling elmyra her mom, too.]
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Still. You can still stop to take care of a kid. [stubbornly. but.] I'm glad someone took care of you. She seems like a good person - the woman at the end there, yeah?
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Yeah, that's her. She...was at the station waiting for her husband to come home. He was in the military. So she would go every day to wait, but that day she took care of me. [...] I didn't get to see her again before we left Midgar. Hopefully she won't be too mad.
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[and you get a memory! a nice one. this time.]
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...I think your mom was right, you know? There's only change. Even if they're gone...and even when it hurts to think about them being gone, in a way they're still with us. We can still remember them and talk to them and care about them. Like people who've just gone far away. We want to do our best so we have so many good things to share with them when we meet again.
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... Yeah. [she says, almost a bit hesitant. or maybe not that. maybe more somber.] You think we will? Meet them all again when we go.
That was what I could never get an answer for.
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It's what I believe, yes. [...] For us, when people die, they usually return to the planet's lifestream where they're born from. And with it they bring their knowledge...their feelings, and their memories. I think returning to where they came is what allows us all to meet again, and then be reborn.
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[she struggles, a bit here.]
Gods, that sounds really nice. I'd like to know what's next.
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You may not know until you get there, but...it's nicer to think that death really isn't the end. For everyone.
[for the people alive and the people gone.]
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[she rests her head on top of aerith's.]
And you're right. It's nice to think we'll get to see our mums again someday.
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We will. You will. [because even if karlach's planet is different...principle applies, she thinks.] Until then...it's nice you get to visit them. Must've been a little while since you got to. I think they'd be happy knowing you've surrounded yourself with other people, too.
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[she says, wryly.]
They'd understand, though. Not like ten years was on purpose. And I got to introduce them to my friends, so - you're right.
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Doubt they'd hold that against you either, you're right. Even if ten years is a long time for both of you. [to not see them, and for karlach to not be able to leave at all.] But...now it's a little like having the best of both worlds, isn't it? Being able to introduce them to each other and share the things you love about each of them.
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[a sigh. she kind of trails off there, not sure what else to say, her tail flicking back and forth. there's a little dip in her mood, for as cheerful as she usual is.]
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He seemed nice. [...] Tell me a little more about your friends? The ones who aren't here with you.
["tell me more about the people you love, the ones who will still be there when we get you home."]
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Oh, yeah. Sure. [she says, following along.] Uh - Wyll, he's - funny story, he's a demon hunter. He thought I was one, but I convinced him I wasn't. He got himself into a lot of trouble because of it.
There's Shadowheart. And Lae'zel, and Halsin. Minthara, too, but she's less a friend and more someone that's with us.
[minthara is her group's cait sith, kind of]
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A demon hunter. [said in the way of "oh okay", like she wasn't expecting that.] Sounds like a dangerous occupation to begin with. But that's...a lot of you. Eight, right? Just like us. People who just happened to cross paths with their own goals that then later became shared ones. You never really know who your close friends will be.
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Never would have made it out of the Hells at all, honestly.
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she follows aerith along, quiet.]
Yeah. Sometimes you just have to accept something is happening.
[which is maybe not exactly where aerith was going with that, but gives you another memory for CONTEXT.]
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anyway, they were working before aerith was clocked in the face with a second memory, and she falters in her steps for a moment as she registers everything karlach says. she knew, of course. she knew the heart karlach has now isn't the same as an organic one, but to know you may die soon...to not feel that justice has been served. to have a goal in mind, and the horrifying realization that that goal isn't enough. the agony of thinking your time's coming soon, and you'll be pulled back into the desperate loneliness you've tried so hard to crawl out of, being torn from the people you love.
it's hard. she doesn't agree with lashing out when she can help it, more of a pacifist herself, but it's something she can understand. she can only imagine how hard this is.]
...I'm sorry. [she's not sure if she's apologizing for saying something stupid to trigger this, or for seeing it at all, or for what karlach's going through. maybe all of the above.]
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