🔥 laudna

[ablazement]

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[ablazement]

[that's... fair, but also:]

There has got to be a way to get rid of her. She shouldn't get to just hitch a ride, she should be dead. Forever.

[a beat.]

Not that that always fixes things.

[which is a nice opportunity for a memory back]

[undread]

[oh no. this is such a relatable feeling. the grief of knowing that no matter what you do, no matter what happens, what was taken from you will never get back. some people get happy endings, but there isn't one waiting for you. you were just broken and will have to continue to deal with that.

even if she never killed delilah with her own hands, she remembers the feeling of waking up and being told she was killed. how hard it was to feel any joy in that and not just loss. how hard she struggled to wrangle some sense of hope or healing from the moment. and then how quickly even that was taken from her, when delilah returned.

it's hard for her to know how to feel for herself but she feels so, so sad for karlach.

she squeezes the hand she's holding.]

It's not fair, is it?

[she doesn't know the specifics of the situation, why karlach will die, whether there's any way to save her. but fundamentally, it's just that. it isn't fucking fair.]

[ablazement]

[it takes her a bit to just... figure out how to respond. she feels so much, she feels it all the damn time, and here, her mortality has never been so present. it's hard to wrap her head around, especially a second time, after she'd put it away in that conversation.

a deep breath.]

It's not. [...] I got sold out too, you know. So - so I relate. We both got sold to the devil.

[undread]

Was that the man who did it to you?

[it's good that he died. even if it didn't fix anything. it's hard to think that it doesn't.]

[ablazement]

Yeah. Put an axe through his skull. Felt good for a minute or two, and then it didn't really feel like anything.

[undread]

...My friends thought they killed her once. When I woke up, they told me. They were so happy, but. It's hard.

It doesn't change the past, the damage that has already been done.

[ablazement]

[it's kind of nice to talk to someone who understands.]

Hard to be excited even though all of your friends are, yeah. I wanted to be. [a sigh.] But. You saw. I'm still... I'm still dying.

[laudna's still dead, and it all still happened, and all the roads to solutions are dead ends.]

[undread]

Is there no way to stop it? The wish?

[ablazement]

The wish could probably do it.

I just don't want to tie my life to someone else.

[undread]

I understand, I think.

[she was wary of tying her life to someone else as well, though probably for less altruistic reasons.]

I think many people would be relieved and happy to have a partner like you, Karlach. You're such a brave and reliable presence. But it's your choice, and an understandable one.

[ablazement]

[weehhh. that makes her feel good, hearing that - who wouldn't feel good, but. that's exactly the kind of thing she wants to impart on people. that she's someone that can be relied on.]

Thanks, spooky. [she says, genuinely.] You know - maybe it's all nonsense, feel good bullshit. But I hope things work for you. I really do. If there was anything I could ever do to get Delilah off your back, I'd do it.

[undread]

You're welcome. [she does mean it, though.] I suppose you would. That's quite sweet, but I suspect it's my own burden to bear.

[ablazement]

Even if you think it's something you've got to handle on your own, the people around you can always figure something out to help. Even if it doesn't solve the problem.

[but she figures laudna knows that. dnd parties is the same.]

[undread]

...I do know that, yes.

[she has friends. it's just complicated.]