[she's still a little cautious around him, but he'll be able to tell that it's still just... because of her. because of her being afraid of herself, in a sense.
she scoots back out of the door when he moves over, and shoves her hands in her pockets. she's just wearing a bandeau and extremely baggy pants with a tail hole.]
Let's go, then. [walkies! she doesn't... say anything, at first, just sort of trying to gather herself together. she doesn't feel bad, not sad, just sort of weary, like she's having a hard time forcing herself to be upbeat.
[ the cautiousness isn't unexpected, honestly, but it does make things feel a little odd. a little unsteady, in ways they've never been with karlach. he bites his lip where he stands at the sword rack, but it's gone and off his face as they head out, and he tucks his hands into his pockets as they walk.
he seems content to walk in the quiet, though his emotions are more pensive than anything - there are soft pings of worry and concern, and he does keep looking over at her. he's not very subtle... but they can walk in the quiet, too. ]
That's good to hear. [ a genuine little relief comes from his emotions, a flicker of a smile. ] It was similar, when... - well, I've heard it was like that for a few of the others, too.
[ he must have had too many injuries for them to heal perfectly all at once, but a quick dip in the springs had solved that, so he does try to kind of gloss over it quickly and diverts to a different subject, stepping on the eggshell. jeez. ]
It's not an enjoyable experience, but it does beat laying around wounded, right?
he grimaces a little bit, though it's sympathetic - and the mention of kate makes his emotions bloom again, into something soft and warm, something affectionate. rondo adores that girl. ]
I ran to get her right away. [ BABY SISTER ] She said she felt so much lighter - I can hardly blame her for it. I'm so glad she's safe and sound with us, now.
[there's a lot of conflicting emotions here - guilt, mostly, and a desire to give more, but fear, too. dread. like wanting to be normal but being afraid there's no right step forward. like not wanting to be a burden.]
If I talk about this, you're going to take it all on yourself, so I'd best not.
[ ah. he - flinches, a little. more emotionally, than physically, but it's a jolt, a reminder. he looks down, and the emotion is almost... scolded. ]
... I... [ can he even defend himself against that? ] ... I see.
[ the feeling is reflected there, too, that sense of dread, and... loss. like something broke, like he's ruined something beyond repair. the sensation of a bridge that's burning and you stand there with a glass of water - floundering, trying for something to set it right. ]
Gods, even when I'm trying to not hurt you I do it anyway. Maybe I should just fucking stay away from you. [she says with a short huff of a laugh, tail flicking.]
[ there is even now a tiny bit of sensation that he wants to fight that, but it's like, smaller. this angle of conversation is a lot better. blunt kind of works. it's what he's used to. ]
...But... [ mmrmrhrgh. he's gotten the idea that maybe he should not argue? (this is the correct idea) ]
Makes me feel like shit to hear it. It isn't my fault, but it isn't yours, either. And I can't - tell you things, Rondo, I can't be honest with you if it's going to be like that. Yeah? If you're going to take it all on your shoulders, I won't give it to you.
You've got to let me have some of it. You've got to let other people have some of it, because not a single person is going to be happy watching you crumble under your own insanely high self-expectations.
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she scoots back out of the door when he moves over, and shoves her hands in her pockets. she's just wearing a bandeau and extremely baggy pants with a tail hole.]
Let's go, then. [walkies! she doesn't... say anything, at first, just sort of trying to gather herself together. she doesn't feel bad, not sad, just sort of weary, like she's having a hard time forcing herself to be upbeat.
maybe she'll just walk for a bit.]
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he seems content to walk in the quiet, though his emotions are more pensive than anything - there are soft pings of worry and concern, and he does keep looking over at her. he's not very subtle... but they can walk in the quiet, too. ]
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You don't have to be worried about me.
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[ said, with a little huff. like it's obvious, because it is. you're my friend. ]
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[...]
Also not puking every five minutes, so that's great.
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... From when you went to the other place beyond the fog, right...? You do look a lot more - um. Alive is the wrong word... You look better, today.
[ despite everything happening - she does look better. ]
...It's a little easier to bounce back on this side, I think.
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[a sigh.]
Sure. I'm not missing my tail, so that's all I care about. [...] Dying and coming back made most of my injuries go.
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[ he must have had too many injuries for them to heal perfectly all at once, but a quick dip in the springs had solved that, so he does try to kind of gloss over it quickly and diverts to a different subject, stepping on the eggshell. jeez. ]
It's not an enjoyable experience, but it does beat laying around wounded, right?
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It's better than having a bunch of boys tie me to my bed in a decidedly unfun way. [tail flick.] Anyway, you don't want to hear about all that.
Did you see Kate?
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he grimaces a little bit, though it's sympathetic - and the mention of kate makes his emotions bloom again, into something soft and warm, something affectionate. rondo adores that girl. ]
I ran to get her right away. [ BABY SISTER ] She said she felt so much lighter - I can hardly blame her for it. I'm so glad she's safe and sound with us, now.
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Yeah, that really is how it feels, getting away. [melancholy, here, but - relief, for kate.] She'll like the bookstore, hopefully.
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[ ... ]
It... feels a little like a restart, I think. Not an ending, but... a place to begin anew.
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That was what I wanted. [she says, finally. but she doesn't say any more than that - holding back, her tail swishing behind her as they walk.]
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[ a little curiously, emotions following, coaxing to see if she'll continue. ]
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If I talk about this, you're going to take it all on yourself, so I'd best not.
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... I... [ can he even defend himself against that? ] ... I see.
[ the feeling is reflected there, too, that sense of dread, and... loss. like something broke, like he's ruined something beyond repair. the sensation of a bridge that's burning and you stand there with a glass of water - floundering, trying for something to set it right. ]
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Gods, even when I'm trying to not hurt you I do it anyway. Maybe I should just fucking stay away from you. [she says with a short huff of a laugh, tail flicking.]
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-- Karlach, no, that's - you're not hurting me.
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[there's no anger to it, though, it's just kind of sad.]
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[ confusion, this time, scattershot. ]
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I don't like that. I don't like being that.
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... I... [ ... ] Suppose I'm not easily reassured.
Is... it a bad thing to want to do better...?
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No, but it is when it's to the extent you do it. Normally, right, people don't get killed by something out of their control and go, wow, I failed.
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...But... [ mmrmrhrgh. he's gotten the idea that maybe he should not argue? (this is the correct idea) ]
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[she brings a hand up to rub at her face.]
Makes me feel like shit to hear it. It isn't my fault, but it isn't yours, either. And I can't - tell you things, Rondo, I can't be honest with you if it's going to be like that. Yeah? If you're going to take it all on your shoulders, I won't give it to you.
You've got to let me have some of it. You've got to let other people have some of it, because not a single person is going to be happy watching you crumble under your own insanely high self-expectations.
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