More that the wound was fresh, so he thought the water would fuck it up. I haven't got any idea if that's true, I'm not a doctor, and I wanted to keep my fingers, so I took his word for it.
there's a pause, as she glances over at laudna, and for a second she thinks about lying - there's something in her thoughts that squiggles in that direction. and then:]
Think it's a little bit of both. [finally.] Some people here really need it. I can't just let them drown.
[it may be a rude thing to say to someone but her intentions aren't bad. maybe that's the nice thing about thought week for her - there's nothing cruel behind her asking. she just doesn't really know better than to prod people on things about them that she finds she's curious about.]
You know, maybe you'll think this is awful. But I do think it's alright for people to drown sometimes. I don't think it's always necessary to have hope or believe things will turn out alright. Sometimes it's a brutal painful slog. And then after a while, something else will happen and it will turn around. Or it doesn't, and you die. Either way, drowning in despair is not a permanent state of affairs!
[the funny thing is - she's not wrong, and she's one of the only people to either notice, or bluntly ask her about it. it catches her off guard, and it makes her a little more honest, which is something she needs.
she doesn't mind. she's known laudna a bit now, and she thinks she understands at least a little how she works. there's no malicious intent to it.]
Hah. [her tail flicks.] I agree with you - drowning in despair isn't permanent, but they need something to reach for them. That doesn't just magically happen, I think.
[she's optimistic, but she isn't naive.]
Famine got on me about it. Keeps telling me not to burn myself out, but it's sort of the name of the game at the moment.
I don't know. I don't think you can reach someone with something you don't feel yourself.
[not optimism exactly, she believes karlach that she tries to feel that way, but.]
If you don't believe that it's all going to be alright, you can't convince someone else of that. Maybe that's why I'm not good at it, at talking to people like that. Because the things I really do believe aren't things people want to hear.
[help she fucking snortlaughs because it's just like, yeah! no, you're right!]
Some is better than none? [she says, helplessly.] I think that's a decent enough goal, right? Just some of us need to get out. I want the kids to make it, at least.
But that's not news, I'm sure I've made that clear. [...] I want you to get to go back to your girl, too, back home.
[but she smiles, not sure exactly what's funny about the bleak thing she just said, but happy it made karlach laugh anyway.]
But I started out absolutely certain that I would, so I suppose it's easier to feel more optimistic about that now that I no longer have that absolute certainty. I do also hope the dear little children will all make it. [though so far, with one real exception, they have mostly been killing adults.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Yes, of course! I'd be happy to.
no subject
I heard there's the ocean in there, and I want to get in it so bad. Last time we had one I didn't have fingers, so Daan wouldn't let me go too far in.
no subject
Why do you need fingers to go in an ocean?
no subject
More that the wound was fresh, so he thought the water would fuck it up. I haven't got any idea if that's true, I'm not a doctor, and I wanted to keep my fingers, so I took his word for it.
no subject
[which shore do we want? summer camp lake or boardwalk?]
no subject
You seem like you're in a good mood today.
no subject
I am! It's a secret. But I do feel a bit more settled this week.
no subject
That's good. That's all we can ask for, yeah? In this Hells hole.
no subject
Maybe not such a big secret.]
Yes. As long as we can make it long enough, we might just find a way to get out of here, too.
no subject
Think so? That's more optimistic than I've heard from people lately.
[she's been trying to lift spirits but it's dire out there. she's going to go right for the food stalls, honestly, she's soooo hungry.]
no subject
no subject
Except I guess I do think of myself as an optimistic person. Even here, when it's hard.
no subject
Do you feel optimistic, though? Or are you forcing yourself to be because you feel it's expected of you?
no subject
there's a pause, as she glances over at laudna, and for a second she thinks about lying - there's something in her thoughts that squiggles in that direction. and then:]
Think it's a little bit of both. [finally.] Some people here really need it. I can't just let them drown.
no subject
You know, maybe you'll think this is awful. But I do think it's alright for people to drown sometimes. I don't think it's always necessary to have hope or believe things will turn out alright. Sometimes it's a brutal painful slog. And then after a while, something else will happen and it will turn around. Or it doesn't, and you die. Either way, drowning in despair is not a permanent state of affairs!
no subject
she doesn't mind. she's known laudna a bit now, and she thinks she understands at least a little how she works. there's no malicious intent to it.]
Hah. [her tail flicks.] I agree with you - drowning in despair isn't permanent, but they need something to reach for them. That doesn't just magically happen, I think.
[she's optimistic, but she isn't naive.]
Famine got on me about it. Keeps telling me not to burn myself out, but it's sort of the name of the game at the moment.
no subject
[not optimism exactly, she believes karlach that she tries to feel that way, but.]
If you don't believe that it's all going to be alright, you can't convince someone else of that. Maybe that's why I'm not good at it, at talking to people like that. Because the things I really do believe aren't things people want to hear.
no subject
I do think it will be. [genuinely.] Eventually, it will be alright. Whether I'm here or not.
[she absently rubs at her chest.]
I like honesty, though. I've always liked that from you, even if I don't agree, yeah? Sometimes it's nice to hear how it is, or how it looks.
no subject
[she's pleased karlach likes her honesty even if sometimes she's insane.]
Anyway, I don't think we'll all die. Some of us will probably make it! So that's good news.
no subject
Some is better than none? [she says, helplessly.] I think that's a decent enough goal, right? Just some of us need to get out. I want the kids to make it, at least.
But that's not news, I'm sure I've made that clear. [...] I want you to get to go back to your girl, too, back home.
no subject
[but she smiles, not sure exactly what's funny about the bleak thing she just said, but happy it made karlach laugh anyway.]
But I started out absolutely certain that I would, so I suppose it's easier to feel more optimistic about that now that I no longer have that absolute certainty. I do also hope the dear little children will all make it. [though so far, with one real exception, they have mostly been killing adults.]
no subject
[her tail sways back and forth behind her.]
no subject
[Haven't made it yet.]
no subject
[absently rubs at her chest.]