when she sees him, she lets out a quiet little sigh - something empathetic, something sorry. she comes over to sit by him, resting a hand on his back. curling close. rubs his arm, whatever she can reach.]
[ resisting every urge to just right ANYWAY ITS FINE HE'S FINE in this tag shakes in hogging drama im sorry
it's. it's bad! he's shaking when karlach touches his back - his head stays buried in his arms, and he doesn't move at first when karlach addresses him, just hiccuping, quietly. he's clearly crying, but that's not a surprise.
after a few moments, he says, in the tiniest voice: ] ...I didn't even get to say goodbye.
she shifts so she can just pull him into her lap, gently. he gets her running her fingers through his hair - she'll tug the ribbon out to make it easier for now, tying it around his wrist.]
[ oh!! well!! it can join the other one there! there's a pink ribbon neatly tied around his wrist. so now there are two! yay.
he just allows himself to be manhandled - a rare occasion for rondo, six feet and full of muscles. it makes him feel like a little kid, but in a good way, a safe way, and he just turns his face against her neck, wet and miserable, and nods. ]
...we... we spend - we always spend our Thursdays together.
she tucks his head under her chin and lets him settle.]
I'm sorry it's always so abrupt. [she murmurs, closing her eyes.] Sort of running out of those little nice things to say, you know? They're starting to not mean anything.
[honestly what do you even say when your friends die week after week after week.]
[ he's quiet, for a long, long time, just - staying like that. shoulders shaking, trembling like a leaf.
and then, in the tiniest, tiniest voice in the world: ] ... I didn't even ... I didn't... I didn't tell her I wanted... I wanted to keep - keep it blooming.
silence, for a long moment, and then she exhales out, slow and sad. her heart aches - she thinks she knows exactly how this feels, and it makes that gutted, horrible feeling in her chest wrench and drop.
she squeezes him a little closer.]
... I'm sure she knew. [she says, soft.] And even if she didn't, it might not be the end. Remember?
[ he knows that - it reverberates somewhere in the back of his mind. he knows. it's just. ]
... I was the one who found her. [ voice small, wet. last week, iwatooshi. this week, marina. rondo has hope. he has so much of it - he'll never, ever let it go - but right now, he's just heartbroken, and all of his energy is just going to holding himself together. ]
... Okay. Alright. We're going to get up, and we're going to go sit somewhere that isn't here. We're not going to torture ourselves. [she says, not unkindly.] You're sad, and that's okay. Gods have you got the right to be, but this is only making you feel worse.
[ just like last week, he just looks up at her, lower lip trembling, and he just - he just nods. he doesn't have the strength to do anything else, right now. ]
[ uppies... he doesn't even fight it, just kind of numbly loops an arm around her shoulders, and... does. he hasn't stopped, really, tears just streaking down his cheeks.
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when she sees him, she lets out a quiet little sigh - something empathetic, something sorry. she comes over to sit by him, resting a hand on his back. curling close. rubs his arm, whatever she can reach.]
Hey, sweetheart.
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it's. it's bad! he's shaking when karlach touches his back - his head stays buried in his arms, and he doesn't move at first when karlach addresses him, just hiccuping, quietly. he's clearly crying, but that's not a surprise.
after a few moments, he says, in the tiniest voice: ] ...I didn't even get to say goodbye.
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she shifts so she can just pull him into her lap, gently. he gets her running her fingers through his hair - she'll tug the ribbon out to make it easier for now, tying it around his wrist.]
To Marina? [that's what she's guessing, anyway.]
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he just allows himself to be manhandled - a rare occasion for rondo, six feet and full of muscles. it makes him feel like a little kid, but in a good way, a safe way, and he just turns his face against her neck, wet and miserable, and nods. ]
...we... we spend - we always spend our Thursdays together.
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she tucks his head under her chin and lets him settle.]
I'm sorry it's always so abrupt. [she murmurs, closing her eyes.] Sort of running out of those little nice things to say, you know? They're starting to not mean anything.
[honestly what do you even say when your friends die week after week after week.]
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and then, in the tiniest, tiniest voice in the world: ] ... I didn't even ... I didn't... I didn't tell her I wanted... I wanted to keep - keep it blooming.
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silence, for a long moment, and then she exhales out, slow and sad. her heart aches - she thinks she knows exactly how this feels, and it makes that gutted, horrible feeling in her chest wrench and drop.
she squeezes him a little closer.]
... I'm sure she knew. [she says, soft.] And even if she didn't, it might not be the end. Remember?
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... I was the one who found her. [ voice small, wet. last week, iwatooshi. this week, marina. rondo has hope. he has so much of it - he'll never, ever let it go - but right now, he's just heartbroken, and all of his energy is just going to holding himself together. ]
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[she sighs, tucking his hair behind his ear.]
... Okay. Alright. We're going to get up, and we're going to go sit somewhere that isn't here. We're not going to torture ourselves. [she says, not unkindly.] You're sad, and that's okay. Gods have you got the right to be, but this is only making you feel worse.
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[she's just going to carry him, sorry about it. hoist. and then, soft, as she adjusts him.]
You can cry. It's alright, I'm here.
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quietly: ]
... the dream I had... it was about her.
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and then she wipes that off her face.]
A week in and already ready for marriage, huh? [she teases gently.] Must've been sweet.
[talk about the good parts. remember the good parts, she thinks.]
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he shakes his head - but he lets out a tiny, tiny hiccup of what could be a laugh. ]
Until the end. [ you know the. toes. god. it's a tiny bit closer to normalcy, at least. ]
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Until the end, yeah. I've got no control over that particular bit. [...] We'll figure it out tomorrow, alright? We'll get it.
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... the... I doubt anyone would want to hurt her. The person who did it... I'm sure they... they must be suffering, too.
[ considering iwatooshi, last week. they have to find whoever did it. ]
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[that doesn't really make her feel better about it, but it is what it is.]
I'd like to figure out Tomizawa, too.
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... me too.