I am quite upset too, you know. Rondo was a friend of mine as well. And I do not believe pretending to me of all people will be of use right now, Karlach. [ and then more gently. ] Please.
[she hesitates, but - she lets him pull her in if he wants. she really, really looks like she's going to start sobbing again, and it's barely held back.]
[cool yeah she absolutely just fucking loses it sorry
he hugs her and she just... cries, like, the kind of crying that happens when you feel like you're five years old and the world is too big for you. exhausted, creaky, at-your-limit crying.]
[ he will let her go as long as she needs to, even if he does have to stay on tiptoes a bit to do this, letting his forehead rest against her shoulder. he will even grant her the greatest gift of all: silence for once. ]
[it'll take a bit, but by the end of it she is just horribly tired and dehydrated, and she looks like her head hurts more than anything. she just slumps over further - doesn't put her full weight on him because he'll die, but she's like ready to pass out.
Of course. But I imagine we will not care for the answer.
[ Every week I try to help, and it feels as if it only becomes worse. He feels a bit adrift at sea sometimes when faced with these sorts of emotions, where no words or actions can seem to reach, and he can do nothing but watch. ]
... Like moons make swell and wane the nescient seas, so too the sky-strewn gods ordain the tidal fates of mortal days. And yet - a notion born in lonely hours - come ebb, come flow, come all that is beyond the breadth of our dominion: be a moon unto yourself. Even the waves of fate can break upon the shores of will.
more seriously, she brings a hand up to her face to rub at it, and then:]
You said it before, it's cruel to leave them like that. So... we've got to find them and put them out of their misery. Whether we care for the answer or not.
Elminster said it to me, and I suppose at the time I was rather distracted and did not hear the words enough to understand, but ...
[ the meaning to him is probably different than the meaning he would like karlach to hear. ]
We do not require you to be our rock. It is a cruel thing to ask you. I would care only that you are my friend, and I am your friend, and we will rely upon each other.
[gale like i am telling you about the time elminster came to tell me my ex said kill yourself
she's silent for a moment at that, her thoughts a scribble of angry, upset nonsense.]
I can't really... pull back now. [she's too entrenched, she thinks. what else is she supposed to do when everybody else's hurt seems so much more than her own? but.]
I trust you. More than anything. So I'll try. [...] Hey - I love you.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I can try to help figure out how to get that out there. [...] Kind of all vague, isn't it?
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But, mine specifically, they are both armed. So ...
[ weapons being involved is something. ]
I found Kanda's body.
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[a pause.]
... Ah, fuck. I'm sorry.
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[ a long sigh. ]
I'm very sorry. I know every week it becomes harder.
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No, it's fine. [no.] All of this is fine.
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[ honestly he's more than a little firm. ]
I am quite upset too, you know. Rondo was a friend of mine as well. And I do not believe pretending to me of all people will be of use right now, Karlach. [ and then more gently. ] Please.
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I'm not - I don't know why I said that. [she says, finally. she brings a hand up to rub at her eye.]
Sorry.
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Come here, please?
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he hugs her and she just... cries, like, the kind of crying that happens when you feel like you're five years old and the world is too big for you. exhausted, creaky, at-your-limit crying.]
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there's always a breaking point.]
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A little better, maybe ... ?
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A little. [she warbles.] I feel like shit.
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You really can tell me anything that you need to, you know.
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[but she shakes her head.]
I think it's just - the... [she stumbles on the words a little, not particularly great at metaphors, but:] The wire snapping.
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[ he understands the metaphor at least. ]
What can I do to help?
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... Just help me figure out who did Rondo's tomorrow. [just for a bit of closure, she supposes.
the rest she's not really sure can be helped.]
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[ Every week I try to help, and it feels as if it only becomes worse. He feels a bit adrift at sea sometimes when faced with these sorts of emotions, where no words or actions can seem to reach, and he can do nothing but watch. ]
... Like moons make swell and wane the nescient seas, so too the sky-strewn gods ordain the tidal fates of mortal days. And yet - a notion born in lonely hours - come ebb, come flow, come all that is beyond the breadth of our dominion: be a moon unto yourself. Even the waves of fate can break upon the shores of will.
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That's pretty.
[she likes your words magic man
more seriously, she brings a hand up to her face to rub at it, and then:]
You said it before, it's cruel to leave them like that. So... we've got to find them and put them out of their misery. Whether we care for the answer or not.
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[ the meaning to him is probably different than the meaning he would like karlach to hear. ]
We do not require you to be our rock. It is a cruel thing to ask you. I would care only that you are my friend, and I am your friend, and we will rely upon each other.
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she's silent for a moment at that, her thoughts a scribble of angry, upset nonsense.]
I can't really... pull back now. [she's too entrenched, she thinks. what else is she supposed to do when everybody else's hurt seems so much more than her own? but.]
I trust you. More than anything. So I'll try. [...] Hey - I love you.
[it seems important to say.]
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I love you too, but I need you to do something for me.
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Yeah? Of course.
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